just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The uberlube is also flammable
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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