just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Still dying that you shit outside
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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