That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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