physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
