she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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