have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
