rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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