If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
