fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
