somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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