I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
