god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
