i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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