you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
