Tell her she can't have a vagina
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
