just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize