i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
