Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
