They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i will never coherently bang her
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I didn't notice because vodka
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
