put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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