I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
