I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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