How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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