I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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