how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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