Rock
Scissors
Fuck
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
