Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
