**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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