nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
