Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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