this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
