we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
