): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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