It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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