and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
