I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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