Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
