Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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