So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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