Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
