You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
