she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
