he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
