I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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