Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
How does it feel to date your dad?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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