bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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