Already got asked if we're dating
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he was CRYING into my vagina
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
