She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
