at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
