those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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