YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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