Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
