did you get engaged???
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
