i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
