Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Congratulations! We have a period
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