you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
