...so i touched it.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
