I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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