i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
