I'm going to jail i love you
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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