entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
